Look, I am a foodie. I think about food–preparing it and savoring it–all the time. I can’t help myself. I think of it as part of my creative repertoire and part of my curiosity. I love to try food from anywhere. Food has my attention. So, bear with me as I go on about food.
Sausage. Early on I posted a complaint about the terrible sausage they have in this country, which is ironic since it is one of their main food staples. They love their sausages. My issue is that they all have the consistency of hot dogs and lack vibrant seasoning.
Many of you suggested I just make my own sausage. Well, I heeded your advice, bought a meat grinder, and have been trying to work out Italian and breakfast sausage. I have the flavor down for sure. But I had a difficult time locating pork shoulder. I found legs (basically ham), loins, roasts, none with the right amount of fat. I think I finally located the right cut, and I will report back. The process is ongoing.
Biscuits and Pie Crust. I think I have discovered the two foods that they are missing here that truly makes me sad for them—buttermilk biscuits and flaky pie crusts. They have “biscuits” which are cookies. And they have scones, which are dense biscuits. But they do not have good old fashionedbuttermilk biscuits. They don’t even know what they are! We take them for granted in the U.S., but we sure do feel their absence here. My oven is entirely untrustworthy but I have been baking them from scratch because when I realize the absence of biscuits, I just want them even more. I think that the next time we are invited to a potluck, which they call “bring a plate,” I am going to bring biscuits and open some eyes.
As for pie crusts, mamma mia! How much time do we spend in the U.S. arguing about pie crust. Here there does not seem to be an argument. They eat a lot of pies. Pies are served for breakfast, lunch, and dinner. But their flaky crusts are made from puff pastry or a short bread which is kind of like pie crust but not. So far as I can tell, and I have not visited every bakery in the country, a flaky pie crust with layers of butter and flour that we savor as we fill them with cherries or pecans or apples, does not exist here. So sad.
Cereal. Good Lord, they need help on this one. There was actually an article in the paper about an American kid doing tik toks on NZ cereal and how awful it is. Kid, you are so right. Why are they awful? Well, let’s start with the comparison to cardboard. Just chewing and chewing a flavorless mess of nuts, oats and a lot of unidentifiable crumbs. The real crime is that they have “Cheerios” here. From what I understand, Cheerios licensed their manufacture to a company here in NZ. I think General Mills may have omitted a key ingredient. Otherwise, how can you get Cheerios wrong? How is that possible? I don’t know. But somehow they have managed to produce little tasteless Os. We finally stopped trying to like the cereal here and started to import all of our cereal.
Okay. Okay. We get it. You don’t like Kiwi food. But there has to be something they do well, isn’t there? Yes, there are a few things. Most of their dairy products are superb. New Zealand has a huge dairy industry, and they do it right. We live right next to the cows, so I can attest to their diet and treatment. Here are our neighbors. Look at her checking me out. She never stopped watching me.
The milk is delicious, as is ice cream, yogurt, and butter. The cheese is good. My only complaint is that the selection is a bit limited. You are talking a million different versions of cheddar, havarti, and gouda. These are flavored with smoke or chilies or cumin, (an NZ favorite spice), or other spices. Then there is an entire cheese section made up of cheese called “tasty,” which I think is along the lines of American cheese/Velveeta. (I am afraid to try it.) Then there is “everyday cheese.” Oh, my. Call me suspicious. You might find a few other cheeses like mozzarella, blue and feta. But if you are looking for anything even a little out of the ordinary, that will take a trip to a specialty shop, which may or may not have what you want. To this day I have been unable to locate Monterey jack cheese for nachos. I am stuck with cheddar and havarti. Still, the dairy foods here are superb.
In the U.S., Meyer lemons are a thing—prized and available only in winter months. Here, everyone has a Meyer lemon tree in their backyard, including us. That is very convenient and fun. I love having a lemon tree. This means we have Meyer lemons very nearly year-round.
Of course, they know how to produce lamb and venison. These are big exports to the U.S. markets. If you like those meats, this is the place for it. Like the dairy cows, I know how the lamb is raised. I see sheep every day munching away in pastures.
My biggest shout out would be to their potato chips. I am a big fan of chips and they have them mastered with a perfect crunch and flavor. Really just so good.
So there. There are foods here that I like.
A Yank Among the Kiwis 